she let herself go.



"You are not the same" he said. How those words stung. What did he mean? How have I changed?  She was still young - she didn't look her 24 years, but instead 18. She stared at her reflection in the bathroom mirror. Sure she looked a little tired (exhausted actually), she had bags under her eyes, but she was youthful nonetheless. Her eyebrows needed threading, and her hair could use a trim ... Her complexion was a little washed out and she needed some pink in her cheeks. She picked up a powder brush, swirled it around in the blush compact, tapped the excess, smiled, then swept the colour on to her cheeks. Her smile fell, and she put the brush down. It had been ages since she wore makeup. Ages since she had done her hair. Ages since she got dressed up or wore any jewellery. What had changed?



Sure she looked a tad different then she did 3 years ago, and after just having a baby? What do you expect? She had gained a bit of weight. Okay, maybe a little more than a bit. Her clothes didn't fit anymore. She often hid under layers, sweaters, scarves, sweat pants and t-shirts. How she longed to go shopping for some new clothes and shoes; but her priorities had changed. Gone were the days she spent long hours at the mall with friends, She didn't mind it though. Her new baby, was way more exciting. She especially loved watching her sleep. She loved everything about her. Those tiny hands and feet, her soft skin - everything. 


The honeymoon stage was definitely over. Reality had set in. But nobody told her that after just 3 years of being married, things would change so drastically. The often ate and slept at separate times, and a lot of the time, went the whole day not saying more than a few words to each other. They were consumed by their daily routine. No one knew, everyone thought they were happy and perfect. Her sister told her that the baby would change everything and would bring them closer. They had yet to see the effects of that. This is harder than I thought. We used to get along great. We were best friends


She went into her closet, pushed back the clothes and pulled out a shoe box. Inside the shoe box were letters, birthday cards, and memorabilia from their travels. Also inside were photos. She picked up a picture of hers; she looked about 17. She was slim, her hair was done and she had worn make up. This was around the time they had met. She smiled. How she wished she could look like that again. A tear rolled down her cheek. There was a noise behind her. He was home. "What's that?" He asked as he walked up behind her. He grabbed the photo from her hand. "Oh wow, I remember this. You are so cute in this picture. Those were the days eh". She mustered up the courage to ask, "What's changed now?". "You aren't the same". "You said that before, what else!" she demanded. "It's nothing, just leave it". She pulled his arm back, "No! I want to know". "You...you...you..." sigh. "You let yourself go ...". And in that perfect moment, in the next room, the baby started to wail.
- Written by yours truly, SMS XO

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